


I Need You

by Sylver11



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 23:49:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28839672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sylver11/pseuds/Sylver11
Summary: Trigger warning for blood, suicide and self harmHope you like it!
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	I Need You

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning for blood, suicide and self harm 
> 
> Hope you like it!

**Dream’s POV**

I’m sitting on the cold tile of the bathroom floor, my legs going numb from being tucked tightly under my crumpled body. I stare blankly at my hands, painted crimson, a mix of blood and tears. The knife glints maliciously out of the corner of my eye, reflecting the gashes ripping through my forearms. The wounds themselves don’t hurt. I’m past that level of consciousness, spiraling deep enough into pain that goes beyond the angry scars burning into my skin. I don’t feel anymore. The world has been covered in layers of monotone ash, obscuring my senses and choking in my throat.  
I close my eyes, waiting for hot tears to form on my lashes, but they don’t come. Everything feels meaningless, as I slip in and out of consciousness. Just as I’m about to fully fall into the dark nightmare of sleep, the door bangs open, followed by a strangled cry. I look up blearily to see a wavering image of George appear in front of me. His eyes are wide with fear and tears are running down his smooth pale cheeks. My porcelain face smiles weakly as he drops to his knees beside me, hand over his mouth in shock. I faintly hear his terrified voice echoing in my ears and pounding through my head, but I don’t respond, too tired, too overwhelmed to care.  
I can feel his soft hands cradle my arms as he attempts to bandage them, the hands I used to love, the hands I used to hold. I remember the jolt of electricity I used to feel when George would smile at me, and the glowing fire of passion in my heart when we kissed. But it’s gone now. There’s nothing left.

“Clay?” The gentle voice rumbles through my head as I lay in the drowsy daze of sleep. “Clay?” The voice is still soft, but I hear the underlying tone of panic start to rise. Reluctantly, I open my eyes to be greeted with George’s worried face. It instantly relaxes the second I wake up. “Good morning,” he says sweetly, smiling. Despite myself, a smile forms on my face as well. I attempt to move, but a searing pain flashes through my right arm as my weight shifts. Wincing, last nights events begin to flood back into my memory. I stare down at my arms. They are carefully wrapped, with dark blood staining almost the entire bandage. George notices me looking at them, and pauses. “We need to talk,” he says cautiously, eyeing my forearms as well. I slowly nod, inspecting the corner of my blanket with great interest as George begins to speak.  
“Last night, oh where do I start, Clay, last night-“ he breathes a deep breath, taking my hands in his. I continue staring at the blanket. “What happened?” He murmurs, his voice unbelievably soft. “I....I don’t know,” I answer truthfully, still not looking at him. “I just saw the knife and....lost control,” George’s breathing is shaky, and I can tell he’s trying not to cry. “You really scared me,” he says at last. I finally look up at him. “I’m sorry,” George shakes his head. “Don’t do that to me- to yourself, ever again,” he breathes.  
“I need you to.....” George stops, and the word _promise_ hangs in the air. He knows I can’t promise. He knows I’ve lied through my teeth in a show of fake reassurances and forced smiles. The empty truths I’d given him lay clearly between us, separating us, ruining us. And it’s my fault. “Please,” George says at last. “Don’t hurt yourself, I need you just as much as you need me.”  
The words leave his mouth with no trace of a second thought, but I wonder if it’s really true. After all I’ve put us through, does he really need me? I’ve been clinging to him like a lifeline, keeping him between me and the shadows of death reaching closer every day. But did George really need me to keep him from tumbling into the dark, dangerous realms of sorrow? I didn’t think so, but I mumble out an “I won’t,” trying to make it sound as sincere as I can. “I won’t, George, I’m sorry.” I watch as a gleam of doubt flashes in George’s eyes for a second, before he looks at me with that warm smile of his. “Thank you,” he says in a low voice. I nod, averting my eyes, praying he doesn’t notice the layers of shame building up in my chest.

The wind biting my face is cold. Hard pinpricks of frost collect in the air like the stars in the night sky. I breath out a shaky breath that swirls into a cloud of glittering mist against the dark horizon. My footsteps are silent as I slowly walk across the roof. The irregular time of night and freezing temperatures means no one else is up here tonight. I am alone. I grip the icy railing on the roof, and it burns into my hand, leaving streaks of pink on my palm, contrasting against my skin, pale with fear. The moon is bright tonight, a perfectly carved crescent imprinted against the black sheets of sky, dotted here and there with glistening stars.  
A pang of regret echoes through me as I think of George, still blissfully asleep fourteen levels below. The look on his face when he wakes up to find me gone is too much to think about, but I try to convince myself he’d be happier without me. I breath a sigh that twists in the air before melting into the night, thinking of the words he said to me just yesterday, “I need you as much as you need me.”  
The memory stubbornly refuses to leave me alone, constantly lingering in the corners of my mind and dragging a dagger of guilt through me each time the thought resurfaces. But eventually, the memories of past times I’d yelled and lied and broke promises drowned his words, and that’s when I found myself up on the roof. “He’d be happier without you,” is now circling my mind as I stand here, knuckles white from holding the railing and breath faltering in my chest.  
The tears come before I can stop them, leaving tracks of cold regret on my cheeks and freezing on the metal of the railing. I shake pathetically, sobs shivering through my body and raking across my heart. Adrenaline mixed with fear and pain pumps through my bloodstream as I slowly climb over the railing, feet slipping on the icy metal and hands growing numb from the cold. I dare to look down.  
The street below looks peaceful, almost welcoming. The dark asphalt is blurred with frost, gently lit by the occasional streetlight. Ever so often, a quiet car rumbles across the road, leaving black tracks through the icy layers. The thought that in mere minutes I will be lying there, smeared across the serene image before me makes my senses go numb with fear.  
My iron grip on the bars of the railing loosens a bit, and I let my eyes fall shut as I gently let go. I let go of my pain. I let go of my fear. I let go of my life. I let go of George. In a split second that feels like eons, I let go of my future and past. A feeling of peace spreads through my body, and I hit the pavement.  
It happens in slow motion. One second I’m flying with a feeling of euphoria flowing through me, next second my body connects with cold ground and time stops. I’m stuck in the moment it ended. I can faintly hear loud wailing sirens burning into my ears and screams piercing the cold night, but my mind is frozen in between the ground and sky. I don’t see, I don’t feel, I don’t breath. This world fades to nothing, and the flurry of motion and sound around me dissolve into the nothingness, leaving me alone at last.  
I don’t see George’s horrified face, blotchy with pain and uncontrollable tears pouring from his red eyes as wild sobs shake through his small frame. I don’t feel his soft hands gently caressing my blood stained face as he whispers that he loves me over and over, desperately trying to bring me back to his world for a little longer, for one more sweet lifetime of peace, but in vain. I don’t hear the grim voices solemnly pronouncing me dead, sending George into another round of even more painful wails.  
I know nothing but the darkness that swallowed me in the moment, when pain and fear broke my consciousness and sent me over the edge of the railing that night. The last thought of George still lingering in the depths of my mind, his words still floating up in my vision, obscuring the peaceful road below for a split second of deeply rooted regret. But the regret was gone the instant I was, and now he’s free.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Constructive criticism and tips are appreciated so I can improve my writing.


End file.
